Құрбыңа абьюзивті қарым-қатынаста қалай көмектесуге болады

A
aigerakain
17 ноября 2023
Unsplash: Wallace Chuck

Құрбыңның қарым-қатынаста болғанда оның қандай адаммен кездесіп жүргенін білу қиын. Егер ол сенен қашса, бөліне бастаса, бірге жоспарланған дүниелерді істемесе. Абьюзивті қарым-қатынаста жүруі әбден мүмкін. 

Біз жақын құрбыңның шынымен қиыншылықта екенін және оған осы жағдайда қалай көмектесетінін түсінуге көмектесетін нұсқаулық жасадық.

Оның шынымен қиын жағдайда екенін қалай түсінуге болады? 

Мінез-құлықтың өзгеруіне назар аудар. Ол бұрыңғыдай жиі қоңырау шалмауы, ақырын сөйлеуі, қысқа сөз тіркестерімен аяқталуы мүмкін, сондықтан ақпарат аз болады.

Мысал: ол ер азаматынан белгілі бір әрекеттер үшін рұқсат сұрайды. Егер ол оның қаржысына иелік етсе немесе жасырын көгерулер мен дене жарақаттарын байқасаң, жағдай нашар.

Абьюзивті қарым-қатынастағы адамдар әдетте сүйіктілерімен жиі қоңырау шалады немесе әр бес минут сайын хат алмасады. Егер құрбыңның жігіті тәулік бойы оның қайда және не істеп жатқанын білгісі келсе, бұл олардың қарым — қатынасында бірдеңе дұрыс емес екендігінің сенімді белгісі.

Құрбыңның қандай жағдайына назар аудар – ол үрейленіп, қорқады ма? Бірақ ол бәрін жасыртыны анық.

Құрбыңды қалай қолдауға болады?

Сенің мінез-құлқың өте қамқор болмауы керек — қандай да бір жолмен: SMS, қоңырау шалып немесе кездесулер арқылы байланыста бол. Құрбыңа әрқашан жанында екеніңді және оның мәселесін тыңдауға дайын екеніңді айт. Мейірімді бол және оны негативпен жалғыз күресуге қалдырма.

Егер ол не болып жатқанын айтса, қалай әрекет ету керек?

Оны мұқият тыңда. Құрбыңды айыптамау маңызды. Оған жалғыз емес екенін және көптеген қыздар осындай жағдайдан өткенін айт.

Құрбы жаман қарым — қатынасқа лайық емес, ол қорлау немесе физикалық зорлық-зомбылық болсын. Сен оның жағында екеніңді және оны одан әрі қолдай беретініңді атап өт.

Құрбыңа абьюзивті қарым-қатынаста қалай көмектесуге болады
Pexels: cottonbro studio
Зиян келтірмеу үшін не істемеу керек?

Сен, әрине, басқа адамдардың қарым-қатынасына араласуыңа болмайды және егер ол оған әлі дайын болмаса, оны жігітіне қарсы қоймау керек. Құрбыңа не істеу керектігін бұйырма және бұл қарым-қатынасты тоқтату керек екенін айтпа. 

Қандай жоспар ұсыну керек?

Егер құрбың сенен көмек сұраған болса, бұл негізгі мәселелердің бірін шешеді — оны қабылдау. Ол жігітімен айырылысуы үшін жоспар туралы ойлан. Тәуекелдерді бағала, егер ол ажырасқанын жарияласа, оған қауіп төніп тұрғанын, физикалық зардап шегетінін тексер.

Фото: Unsplash

Ақпарат көзі: Heroine

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