Достарың саған жетістікке жетуге кедергі келтіретінін қалай түсінуге болады?

A
aigerakain
06 октября 2023
Unsplash: Marea Wellness

Кейде ортаң сенің «бір орныңда тұрып қалуыңның» жәнемақсатыңа жете алмайтыныңның басты себебі болуы мүмкін екенін түсіну өте қиын. Достарыңның арасындағы жағымсыз кейіпкерлерді тану үшін дабыл қағатын «қоңырауларды» уақытында байқау маңызды және бізоларды жинадық. 

Біз сәттілік толқынын сезінгенде, қуанышымызбен жақын адамдарымызбен бөліскіміз келеді. Біз бірден кімге жүгіреміз? Дұрыс, ең жақсы досымызға немесе жақын туысқаныңа. Сенің жақындарың осындай жағымды жайыттарға қалай жауап береді? Егер сен жолың болды/әлсіз бәсекелестік /саған жандары ашыды және т.б. осы сынды сөздерді естісең, мұндай адаммен байланыста болу керек пе, жоқ па, соны қарастыр, өйткені біз үшін маңызды адамдардың негативі шабытты өлтіріп, өзін-өзі бағалауды бұзуы мүмкін. Бұл жағдайда сен жоспарлаған ешнәрсеге қол жеткізе алмайсың.

Олар сенің сәтсіздіктеріңе қуанады

Сенің жеңілгеніңе қуанатын досыңнан жаман ештеңе жоқ шығар. Мұндай адам сөзбе-сөз сенің жаман көңіл-күйіңнің себепкері болады, өйткені көп жағдайда бұл адамдар стрессті жеңуге тырысатын қиын кезеңді бастан кешіреді, ал басқа адамдардың алаңдаушылығы мен проблемалары олар үшін позитивтің қайнар көзі. Тағы да сұрақ, мұндай «достардың» қажеті не?

Unsplash: Marea Wellness
Достарың сенің сенімсіздігіңді тудырады

Біз бәріміз өмірімізде қолдаудың орнына , сені төмендететін кем дегенде бір адамды білеміз: «Дұрыс айтасың, тырыспа, ештеңе істей алмайсың, өзің біліп тұрсың ғой», — дейді олар әдетте. Бұл күмән кезеңінде, әсіресе өмірдегі үлкен өзгерістер болып жатқанда естігің келетін соңғы нәрсе. Есіңде болсын, көптеген адамдар сен ұмтылатын деңгейге көтерілуден қорқады және сені бір жерде ұстауға тырысады. Берілме және мұндай қарым-қатынасты минимумға дейін азайт.

Достарың саған жетістікке жетуге кедергі келтіретінін қалай түсінуге болады
Unsplash: Marea Wellness
Олар өздерін мысалға келтіреді

«Міне, маған қара, мен ештеңеге ұмтылмаймын және менде бәрі жақсы. Ал сен неге бір орында отырмайсың?» — өзін-өзі бағалауы қиын жағымсыз досыңның тағы топ-фразасы.

Тәуекелге бару және өз бетінше шешім қабылдау қабілеті өзін-өзі қамтамасыз ететін адамдардың тағдыры болып табылады, бірақ мұндай сенімділік көбінесе рухы әлсіз және өзі үшін жауап бере алмайтын адамдардың жынына тиеді және қорқытады. Сен досыңды тыңдай аласың, бірақ міндетті түрде тыңдаудың қажеті жоқ — сенің жетістігің тек сенің қолыңда.

Фото: Unsplash

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